urgh! My word for the day, Urgh! I feel urgh with the new darkness in themorning for daylight savings, and my body feels tired. I have the personal trainer this morning, so that will wake me up.
Having a little extra time to surf the net this morning, got me thinking about family, as I quickly looked through my stepdaughter's facebook page. There was a hello from my brother in laws girlfriend, friend, ex fiance, not really sure what she is...... My BIL has a son, to a former girlfriend, whom he dated for many years. they split several years ago, and he then started seeing this other woman. She's nice enough, but the world is all about her, all about her looking good, and she completely takes over any situation with her loud cringing personality. Look, as a future SIL, I was prepared to get to know her, and accept her into the family. Well, my in-laws, (now mind you I'm not married to my partner, so these terms are just to signify where people are in my family, not that I don't want to marry him, it's a long sad and painful story...) Anyway, my in-laws bought the 2 carat diamond ring for the engagement ring, for this woman, WTF, that is such bullshit, and had to be in that little blue box from Tiffany's of course, so no change out of $35K, absurd! Now she flashes this thing around, and has no idea that the in-laws paid for it, thinking her future hubby is loaded, and not understanding the family dynamics. Her future Beau would never fill her in on these things, but my man does, I know just about everything to do with the fmaily businesses, and the dynamics behind them. The family company is in the son's name, as he has the industrial buliding license, but it is owned by my FIL, but the girlfriend thinks everyone works for my BIL, sorry, mixed up I know, hope you could keep up.
Anyway, so she has this ring, worth a small house 20 years ago, and today, a nice car! But he felt he had to buy this ring, to get the girl, well if you had to do that, then the girl aint worth having. Now this all happened about 4 years ago, and not long after the ring giving, she started to (well always did) flirt with guys everywhere, and then run and hide behind BIL when the advances were accepted, too funny. Always druck and loud and embarrassing for my BIL, I just shake the head, and think why not some nice girl??? Well she set herself up on myspace, with a single relationship status, and was from what I understand, going around town having fun. Not thinking of the consequences, or what that really meant I think, but eventually she gave the ring back, and it was all over, BIL heartbroken, crying to the previous girlfriend, mother of his child, whom he had never asked to marry him, and who was gutted and pissed with all the proceedings. Anyway, she took him back, so to speak, and they were kind of seeing each other. Now this woman I can't stand, so full of her own self importance, is always right, and is rude when you challenge her statement, so I have little to do with her. Well really the whole family has little to do with each other. Sad, as they are all great people, screwed up, but great.
Well BIL is now back with this woman, but still sort of sees the mother of his child, who is now getting pissed about it. The latest I heard was she wanted to pay off her mortgage, and demanded $75k, or he wouldn;t see his son. he was actually worried about it, I told him it was crap, she was not his partner, and had no right s to ask for anything. She got the most amasing settlement considering what he has, and has the nerve to ask for more, anyway not my relationship, but hope he has gone to CSA to get some help. Well he is back with "bolt on" (fiance) (that's what her nickname is, fake boobs!) and flashing his relationship around town, my in-laws will not have anything to do with her, as the stories my BIL has told them, she is not welcome in the family, quite sad. She doesn't understand, as she has no idea that all her little misgivings have been splashed to the in-laws, but the in-laws also don;t know what it would be like to live with their son in that sort of relationship, it would be a nightmare, as the guy is like a 5 year old.
So now Bolt On is facebooking my stepdaughter, and saying she would like to catch up, and sorry she didn't get to talk the time she turned up at a family event, and was asked to leave. Poor thing, would have been very embarrassing, as BIL told her to go and join the party while he played boats. Well noone had spoken to her in a couple of years, and she just walks in and orders drinks on the family tab, and sits at the atble to chat, uninvited, was awkward. But she left after being asked to and probably doesn't understand. I would love to tell her why the black sheep thing, but it's not my place. Might talk to the MIL when she is back from holidays.
Well my man and I have a brilliant relationship, and are very happy. noone gets it, as we pretty well just stick together with everything going on around us, are best friends, and like to be around each other. Well must go feed the horses, and get moving. xxx
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
How things have changed
When I was a kid, and had a horse, you just fed them completo, and a bit of chaff, and wormed them now and then, and rode the guts out of them. These days, they get massaged, chiro, Physio, super foods, additives to the feed, etc, and they are looked after and molicoddled, and they get sick, and hurt and lame and run through fences.......
Aussie this afternoon, was looking very weird on his rear end. he's always been a bit stiff in his sacroeliac area, (spelling?) but he's picking his legs up very funny, not sure if he's slipped and hurt his back in the mud, or he is getting stringhalt, god no not another horse with it! he just doesn't seem happy, and it's breaking my heart. My myotherpaist is on holidays for school, so will have to wait until next week. poor baby.
So I'm a bit down, and feeling like I am doing something wrong all the time. It's very deflaiting, and stressful. Hmmm, best thing to do is not worry, get him checked out, and get it fixed.
On a lighter note, my arena is being finished tomorrow, woohooo....
Aussie this afternoon, was looking very weird on his rear end. he's always been a bit stiff in his sacroeliac area, (spelling?) but he's picking his legs up very funny, not sure if he's slipped and hurt his back in the mud, or he is getting stringhalt, god no not another horse with it! he just doesn't seem happy, and it's breaking my heart. My myotherpaist is on holidays for school, so will have to wait until next week. poor baby.
So I'm a bit down, and feeling like I am doing something wrong all the time. It's very deflaiting, and stressful. Hmmm, best thing to do is not worry, get him checked out, and get it fixed.
On a lighter note, my arena is being finished tomorrow, woohooo....
Monday, September 28, 2009
Learning
Over the last three years I have got back into horse riding, after 20 years away from it. I rode right through my teens, and loved it. I wanted to get into training, and work as a trainer. Well my mother, who always instilled in us that women can do everything as well as men, and we are as good as men, would not allow me to move to orange NSW to go to the equestruan college up there, can't remember it's name.
I grew up with the fear of god shoved down my throat, never to question your parents, or challenge what they say, and i was a meek, shy, and introverted kid, who had no friends really, and found it hard to socialise, except when i was with my horse, he gave me every bit of love that i didn't feel from others, and I am the women I am today, thanks to Sean, the chestnut arab cross.
Back to my mother, she would have to be one of the most miserable women I know, she has been married to my father for over 40 years, and he loves her, and I just don't get it. She is evil to him, constantly puts him down, scoffs at hiow he does things, angry, controlling and manipulative. poor dad. From when I was about 9 years old, he worked in Thailand, and felw back and forth about 2-3 times a year. it was tough, but I never relly saw it as bad. My dad an I are two peas in a pod, and i think that's why my mother resents me so much. I was the apple of his eye, and I remember fondly many things we did together, woodworking, gardening, car repairs, it was always the two of us. I am the middle child, older sister and younger brother. I love my siblings, but we were always pitted against each other, and we learned that we were not supposed to be friends. looking at it now, mum wanted us all to love her only, and not really even comunicate with each other, bizarre. I recall I met my dad at Bunnings one afternoon, and when mum found out we were shopping together, you would have thought she had caught dad cheating. It's fair to say, i have little to do with her, or my siblings now. Dad is living back in Aus, but they moved to queensland, and I see them rarely.
Well more to come on that later.
I grew up with the fear of god shoved down my throat, never to question your parents, or challenge what they say, and i was a meek, shy, and introverted kid, who had no friends really, and found it hard to socialise, except when i was with my horse, he gave me every bit of love that i didn't feel from others, and I am the women I am today, thanks to Sean, the chestnut arab cross.
Back to my mother, she would have to be one of the most miserable women I know, she has been married to my father for over 40 years, and he loves her, and I just don't get it. She is evil to him, constantly puts him down, scoffs at hiow he does things, angry, controlling and manipulative. poor dad. From when I was about 9 years old, he worked in Thailand, and felw back and forth about 2-3 times a year. it was tough, but I never relly saw it as bad. My dad an I are two peas in a pod, and i think that's why my mother resents me so much. I was the apple of his eye, and I remember fondly many things we did together, woodworking, gardening, car repairs, it was always the two of us. I am the middle child, older sister and younger brother. I love my siblings, but we were always pitted against each other, and we learned that we were not supposed to be friends. looking at it now, mum wanted us all to love her only, and not really even comunicate with each other, bizarre. I recall I met my dad at Bunnings one afternoon, and when mum found out we were shopping together, you would have thought she had caught dad cheating. It's fair to say, i have little to do with her, or my siblings now. Dad is living back in Aus, but they moved to queensland, and I see them rarely.
Well more to come on that later.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Some men!
Dealing with an ex-husband, is like question time in parliament! Nothing I say, he agrees with, and he will stringently promise something, and then lie about it's outcome, or deny he knew anything about it.
MAN IS IT FRUSTRATING!
But I am still lucky, regardless, as my daily life is so full of love and commitment with my gorgeous partner, that no matter what this arse can fling at me, like dogshit, just flies off. A vision I got from the school counselor at my sons school. poor little tyke is getting bullied, and takes everything to heart. she told him, just look at their words as if they were dog shit. they throw a statement at you, and you just have to shake it off, like it were dog shit, doesn't stick. you only take in the things people say, from people you respect, and the issues will go away. I used to take everything to heart, and think, "yes, I deserve that, that's what I am, that's how I should feel about myself" Well i am now happy with myself, love my body, my mind, and the people around me, and the rest is just dressings.
My ex doesn't pay his child support in time, EVER! and it is so incredibly frustrating. he is so damn lucky, as every cent he pays me, goes to the kids, it currently pays their private school fees, and doesn't even cover them, so all living expenses and some, comes from the most wonderful man, my partner. He loves my kids, and they know it, is is firm but fair, loving and nurturing. he loves their mum, and treats me with the utmost respect, and I tell you, he wants to knock their dad's block off! but he is a gentleman, and wouldn't do that, well maybe if I asked him.
well guys, if you have an ex, and you have children with them, then just pay the child support, it is a simple thing, just transfer the money. I know there are plenty of women out there who are mean to the kids and their ex's, but not all of them, and if you pay on time, life will be so much easier. But saying that, Craig always paid his ex on time, and she caused so much grief when we met, and told the kids that dad had a new family and didn’t need them anymore, what a kick in the face, nasty woman, but as they say, the universe will take care of her, you just have to not let it effect you. Craig would always tell the kids he loved them, they had their own rooms, and were always welcome, they hated me for a long time, as they thought I was there to break everything up, but that was more poison from the mother. well many years on, almost ten now, his son rarely, if ever sees his mum, and that is the universe looking out for the good. I love my step kids, though I could wring a neck or two from time to time, but I am a better person for knowing them, and i am pleased to have them in my family.
Love your kids, and treat them like you want them and everyone else to be treated, and yourself.
MAN IS IT FRUSTRATING!
But I am still lucky, regardless, as my daily life is so full of love and commitment with my gorgeous partner, that no matter what this arse can fling at me, like dogshit, just flies off. A vision I got from the school counselor at my sons school. poor little tyke is getting bullied, and takes everything to heart. she told him, just look at their words as if they were dog shit. they throw a statement at you, and you just have to shake it off, like it were dog shit, doesn't stick. you only take in the things people say, from people you respect, and the issues will go away. I used to take everything to heart, and think, "yes, I deserve that, that's what I am, that's how I should feel about myself" Well i am now happy with myself, love my body, my mind, and the people around me, and the rest is just dressings.
My ex doesn't pay his child support in time, EVER! and it is so incredibly frustrating. he is so damn lucky, as every cent he pays me, goes to the kids, it currently pays their private school fees, and doesn't even cover them, so all living expenses and some, comes from the most wonderful man, my partner. He loves my kids, and they know it, is is firm but fair, loving and nurturing. he loves their mum, and treats me with the utmost respect, and I tell you, he wants to knock their dad's block off! but he is a gentleman, and wouldn't do that, well maybe if I asked him.
well guys, if you have an ex, and you have children with them, then just pay the child support, it is a simple thing, just transfer the money. I know there are plenty of women out there who are mean to the kids and their ex's, but not all of them, and if you pay on time, life will be so much easier. But saying that, Craig always paid his ex on time, and she caused so much grief when we met, and told the kids that dad had a new family and didn’t need them anymore, what a kick in the face, nasty woman, but as they say, the universe will take care of her, you just have to not let it effect you. Craig would always tell the kids he loved them, they had their own rooms, and were always welcome, they hated me for a long time, as they thought I was there to break everything up, but that was more poison from the mother. well many years on, almost ten now, his son rarely, if ever sees his mum, and that is the universe looking out for the good. I love my step kids, though I could wring a neck or two from time to time, but I am a better person for knowing them, and i am pleased to have them in my family.
Love your kids, and treat them like you want them and everyone else to be treated, and yourself.
My thoughts renewed...
I've started a new blog, away from the masses that know me, so I can get my inner most feelings out, and not be judged for them. I will allow a few close friends in, so they can understand where i am coming from, and see what makes me me.
Through life we meet people on an off chance. They either change your life, for the better, or the worse, or drift past in a fleeting moment. I have met a great lady, who is so sure of herself, and brings out passion inside me, that no female has before, not a passion for her, though I must say she is incredibly beautiful, but a passion to be more of me! We had similar childhoods, in a basic sense, German families, tomboys, and blessed with great genes, I'm almost 40, but look now where near it. I love my body, and my skin and the way I look now. I'm fit, strong, and healthy.
I have always wanted to write something, though have never had the words come out in any way that isn't basic and childlike, if you get my drift. I hated English at school, or really, until now, didn't really understand what it was for. I don't get alot of time to read, or moreso, would rather spend my time doing other things.
Most of my life I have worried about what people thought of me. I felt I always had to tell everyone everything about me, and had a woo is me outlook. In the last 18 months, I have made changes in my life, which have made all the difference to making it perfect. I tell fleeting acquaintances very little, and the ones I love, everything. I like to be more mysterious about who I am, and what the outcome. Until recently I had new cars every two years, and I thought that made me a better person, ikk, how mundane! I now drive a 9 years old landcruiser, which I just love. I have horses, and you are always carrying bags of feed or saddles rugs etc, and makes no sense to grubby up a new car. and I love it, it's clean, neat and fits my life, which is brilliant.
Well after an awesome night last night, I am feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day head on. Love life, and live it to the full! xxx
Through life we meet people on an off chance. They either change your life, for the better, or the worse, or drift past in a fleeting moment. I have met a great lady, who is so sure of herself, and brings out passion inside me, that no female has before, not a passion for her, though I must say she is incredibly beautiful, but a passion to be more of me! We had similar childhoods, in a basic sense, German families, tomboys, and blessed with great genes, I'm almost 40, but look now where near it. I love my body, and my skin and the way I look now. I'm fit, strong, and healthy.
I have always wanted to write something, though have never had the words come out in any way that isn't basic and childlike, if you get my drift. I hated English at school, or really, until now, didn't really understand what it was for. I don't get alot of time to read, or moreso, would rather spend my time doing other things.
Most of my life I have worried about what people thought of me. I felt I always had to tell everyone everything about me, and had a woo is me outlook. In the last 18 months, I have made changes in my life, which have made all the difference to making it perfect. I tell fleeting acquaintances very little, and the ones I love, everything. I like to be more mysterious about who I am, and what the outcome. Until recently I had new cars every two years, and I thought that made me a better person, ikk, how mundane! I now drive a 9 years old landcruiser, which I just love. I have horses, and you are always carrying bags of feed or saddles rugs etc, and makes no sense to grubby up a new car. and I love it, it's clean, neat and fits my life, which is brilliant.
Well after an awesome night last night, I am feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day head on. Love life, and live it to the full! xxx
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