Learning

Over the last three years I have got back into horse riding, after 20 years away from it. I rode right through my teens, and loved it. I wanted to get into training, and work as a trainer. Well my mother, who always instilled in us that women can do everything as well as men, and we are as good as men, would not allow me to move to orange NSW to go to the equestruan college up there, can't remember it's name.

I grew up with the fear of god shoved down my throat, never to question your parents, or challenge what they say, and i was a meek, shy, and introverted kid, who had no friends really, and found it hard to socialise, except when i was with my horse, he gave me every bit of love that i didn't feel from others, and I am the women I am today, thanks to Sean, the chestnut arab cross.

Back to my mother, she would have to be one of the most miserable women I know, she has been married to my father for over 40 years, and he loves her, and I just don't get it. She is evil to him, constantly puts him down, scoffs at hiow he does things, angry, controlling and manipulative. poor dad. From when I was about 9 years old, he worked in Thailand, and felw back and forth about 2-3 times a year. it was tough, but I never relly saw it as bad. My dad an I are two peas in a pod, and i think that's why my mother resents me so much. I was the apple of his eye, and I remember fondly many things we did together, woodworking, gardening, car repairs, it was always the two of us. I am the middle child, older sister and younger brother. I love my siblings, but we were always pitted against each other, and we learned that we were not supposed to be friends. looking at it now, mum wanted us all to love her only, and not really even comunicate with each other, bizarre. I recall I met my dad at Bunnings one afternoon, and when mum found out we were shopping together, you would have thought she had caught dad cheating. It's fair to say, i have little to do with her, or my siblings now. Dad is living back in Aus, but they moved to queensland, and I see them rarely.

Well more to come on that later.